Have you ever heard about 5 Love Languages, or maybe you have done the test to learn about your emotional needs? 5 Love languages were identified by Gary Chapman
No matter who you are, whether you’re an introverted or extroverted person, you need to know about your communication style and how you will feel appreciated or loved, whether by yourself or others.
The first step is getting to know yourself before you want to know others. Each of us has our own way of expressing love and receiving love. How you express and receive might not be the same, but these can be changed over time.
It Allows You to Have a Better Communication Style and Prevent Miscommunication
As a girl, I definitely understand that some of you tend to think that almost all girls are playing ‘hard to get’ and hard to understand because when they get angry, they close their mouths and hope the men apologize first. Well, conflicts are always the problem, right?
It’s not that we’re playing hard to get. We just want to get something spontaneously. We want you to have the intention to be more active rather than we’re told you that we want something.
In fact, each girl is different. At least, you should know, ‘What kind of things might your partner like?’ So each of you will try to complement and match several things based on their love language. Once you know it, it is easier to keep the relationship smoothly and run for a long-term relationship.
For example, the communication language for each people might not be the same. Even though you’re speaking the same language, you often had a miscommunication with each other, which led you to hate that person.
I know these 5 Love Languages are not 100% work for all of you, but at least this gives you a tip of information to give you an alternative mindset and a solution if you encounter this kind of circumstance in the future. People can have two love languages – one for showing love and the other for how we prefer to receive love.
Avoid Disappointment
In some relationships, some of you might also feel lost somewhere. You think you have already tried your best to maintain your relationship, such as giving them presents, showing that you’re caring for her/ him, giving your time to listen to their burdens, giving them such a caring word, etc. But if you express a different style of love language, it might make your partner uncomfortable when they receive that from you.
For example, if your partner’s language is ‘physical touch’ and you didn’t make an effort to show your affection with a touch, your partner might be disappointed.
“You don’t need to have the same love language as your partner, you just need to realize it both ways, is one of the best ways”
Healthy Relationship and Know your Boundaries
Don’t use these Love languages to control your partner. Your partner is not your pet. You shouldn’t make your partner uncomfortable just because you know their love language. Each person is different, and both of you should come up with a conclusion to balance your relationship. We’re not living in an old era, which makes you think that men have a higher position than women.
Don’t say this, “If you love me, you would ……..” don’t be selfish!
You must realize that each of you needs to set which acts will benefit or feel good to both of you.
“If your partner is demanding that you engage in behaviors that you are uncomfortable with in order to “prove” your love for them, or if they’re making you feel guilty for how you are attempting to show your love to them, that could be a red flag of emotional abuse.”
– Dana (loveisrespect.org)
Respect Others
What are the 5 Love Languages that I’ve repeatedly mentioned?
Word of Affirmation
Communicate with your words either in written words or spoken words (give compliments, say that you appreciate them when they do something)
People who have this as their love language might find it sounds cringy when you hear the sweet words, but it gives you some positive vibes. And you’ll find yourself smiling 😊
BUT,
With the same method, you can also hurt them verbally (by your criticism and hurtful comments)
Acts of Service
Action speaks louder than words when you know that your partner has a ton of homework or house chores, and you’re there to offer them help to reduce their burdens. It would be meaningful to her or him.
Or, if you’re unsure about what kind of things they would like to be helped with, you can ask them to make a list for you.
And, of course, they’ll feel hurt when you refuse to help and break a promise
Quality Time
Give your attention and spare your time for them. Just stay by their side even when you’re doing nothing with them.
Personal space either doing nothing or doing something 🙂
Be Careful!
You’ll hurt them if you avoid that person, reduce your time with them, not listen to them, postpone your dates, and are distracted.
Receive Gifts
No need to explain this. He or she will feel embraced or rewarded when they receive gifts from you.
No gifts, No Love
Don’t be too materialistic! It downgraded your value
Physical Touch
Give a proper skin-ship, and respect your partner’s limitations and boundaries.
Don’t be too touchy and make them uncomfortable.
If you’re still unsure about your Love Language, you can do the test on the link below.
Love Language Test
References
https://www.northbrooklynmft.com/the-importance-of-learning-your-partners-love-language/
https://thepowermoves.com/the-5-love-languages/
https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/applying-the-5-love-languages-to-healthy-relationships/
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