12 Why Makes It Hard to Make Friends?

The twelfth episode of the 1Minute section is about the importance of friendships. 

I will divide this friendship content into three parts. In the first part, we will talk about the following:

1. What makes friendships so important?
2.  Why is it hard to have friends in our adulthood?

Let’s dive into it.

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According to Marisa, friendships can give us a sense of community, the freedom to be who we actually are, and the benefits of sticking to what we enjoy doing. 

“Our personalities are the reflection of what our experiences and our environment taught us. “

In a child’s world, friendships happen when we share vulnerabilities and in unplanned interactions. Many people tend to rely on their partner for emotional support when married. One person’s mood can affect the other person and the otherwise. There’s transmitting energy between each other, which could be a delusional feeling. This is one of the reasons why it’s necessary to have outer support; friends. Marriage shouldn’t be a status that takes away the friendship’s role in one individual’s life. 

In every relationship, one of two individuals must be willing to initiate a conversation, start a new friendship, or even make a conversation. To engage in a healthy relationship, we must separate ourselves from a part that is judgemental, fearful, mistrustful, etc. 

She mentioned 2 reasons why it is hard for us to find friends.

1. We don’t know how.
2.  Paradox of people

Friendships don’t happen organically in adulthood. Friendships should be based on effort, not based on luck. If our friendship’s pioneer is based on luck, it will make us lonelier in 5 years. But if our pioneer is based on effort, we will become less lonely.  

If we want to make friends, instead of assuming that those people will reject us, let’s assume they will like us. And this is what we call an “acceptance prophecy.”

People who are in a transitional stage are most open to friendships. And, if you think the entertainment factor is the top priority, you’re wrong. According to this talk, the entertainment factor is the least essential quality, and the top priority is someone who makes us feel like we matter. It’s not about how to impress them. It’s more about making them valued. 

For example, when we say that we’re interested in getting to know new people, at that time, we assure them they don’t need to worry and make them feel safe connecting with us.