Welcome back. It’s the last part of The Law of the Mirror. In this article, I will cover about:
- Three statements related to our behaviour and perspectives
- Put the Law of the Mirror into practice for our growth.
- Ten Steps to light our self-image
Many resources mention that we have equal possibilities to be successful. But what makes it different is the resources we are born with. Some people already have the privilege to achieve it sooner, and others need to work extra. When we are talking about possibilities, it’s like talking about a seed. To make the seed grows, we need to water them and give them nutrition. That’s exactly what we need.
Low self-esteem is among the many reasons people fail to grow their potential.
Why do many of them try to belittle themselves by underestimating their potential? World rule number one, why would others believe in you if you can’t believe in yourself? Before you can cultivate your potential and grow it to the next level, you need to realize it first. Back to the seed illustration, if you think the seed would never grow, why would you plant it in the first place?
We need to have three things to maximize our growth: determination, motivation, and focus. As long as we are determined, why do we still need to wait to master one particular thing? When we have a positive vision to chase what we believe, it will bring us to a good place, start chasing it. If you realize you have value, you will start investing in it.
“People are never outperforming their self-image.” If you don’t have the trust, confidence, and respect for yourself, it will limit you, and sorry to say, you will never see yourself growing. So, have the courage and start being the reflection of what you would like to be.
Remember that we are entirely responsible for everything, in the present, in the past, and even for what we are becoming in the future.
Let’s start with these 3 self-worth statements:
- Our perspectives about ourselves must align with our behaviours and actions.
When we see ourselves as 5 out of 10, no matter how much effort, time, and focus we put in, we still see ourselves as 5. So, the respectful solution would be “fixing your lens toward yourself and improving your values.” - Our values prove how much we believe and invest in ourselves.
How many eggs do you put in yourself?
Your score will determine the investment you put in.
If you think you are 8, you will invest to meet the value 8. - Our beliefs will impact people’s beliefs.
Believe in yourself first before demanding people to believe in you. Prove to yourself that you are worth the score and values you put in.
Project yourself in a higher value.
Projection only works out if we put the action into it. Then, you will get what you are worth.
The self-image we have of ourselves is the one that will design and create our potential because we can’t accomplish and surpass more than our self-worth allows. We need to be healthy from the core or within to project what could be a better future for us.
To use this double-weapon law to your benefit, here are four methods you can choose and use:
- Opposite
Reflections do come often when we are discussing improving oneself.
When you are in a position getting disturbed by the interaction with an opposite person (lifestyle, beliefs, culture, levels), REFLECT and ask yourself if it is possible to be more considerate and more flexible.
If you pause for a while from what you usually are, would something wrong happen? - Doppelganger
You see a similar part of you in the other person, but that part is the one that you don’t want to admit or see.
Find the cause. What makes it so disturbing to see?
The same solution would be, REFLECT, and don’t avoid it just because you don’t want to see it.
“Without acceptance, transformation is impossible.” - Expectations
Having unrealistic expectations and projecting them into living creatures will make us helpless because it only leads us to despair and disappointment.
Just like the Stoicism rule, there are things beyond our control. Realize it and reduce the burden that has never been there (ghost load). - Mindful
When you feel attacked or become a victim to someone else, there are probabilities that you are doing the same thing to someone else.
Review your life, what makes you feel annoyed about the treatment you have been getting, and think about the whole process. Hopefully, the change you bring to yourself will also bring sweetness to the world you are around.
Ten steps build your self-image.
Create a boundary for your self-talk.
To change how we think, we need to change how we talk to ourselves.
Be your cheerleader, motivator, leader, and even encourager. If no one wants to compliment you, you can give the best compliment to yourself.
If you did something wrong, instead of taking all the blame and internalizing the pain, look at the brighter side, “what can you learn from those mistakes?”
Stop comparing
We all hate to be compared. Even as a child, we already know how it feels to be compared with someone. Comparing our lives to someone who already succeeds or stands in different competitions will cause us to decrease and lose our self-esteem and self-trust.
The one to whom we need to be compared is ourselves. We need to be better from who we were yesterday.
Move further
Your belief might be the biggest hurdle you must overcome because if you limit your belief, you limit your progress. Like Charles Schwab’s quotation, “When a man has put a limit on what he will do, he has put a limit on what he can do.”
You can follow these steps to transform your impossible belief and make it possible:
- Identify what kind of ‘impossible’ belief you want to change.
- Explain how that belief will limit you, “in what way?”
ex: you don’t think you can do it; you think it will fail, - Find what kind of transformation you want.
If you are not doing (what you want), what will happen to you? How do you feel?
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If you decide to do (what you want), how will it make you feel? What kind of changes and opportunities will you get? - Create an empowering statement that affirms or gives you permission to be, act, and feel and outlines the realistic process you will use to get what you want.
Do what’s right!
I’m not asking you to be the man or lady of justice or anything grand. When we do what’s right and act accordingly, we will be satisfied and boost our self-esteem. Take those actions to build your character. Positive characters stand side by side with confidence.
Be intentional in adding value to people’s life
Each of us can spread goodness, even though we are not rich. The book mentions that serving others and impacting other people’s lives can make someone feel good about themselves, or “sense of appreciation,” or a “sense of reward.”
When we add value to people’s lives, those people will value us. They feel blessed, and you feel rewarded.
It’s a win-win ending.
One-word strategy
Find a word that describes you the best. Hopefully, this simple method will tell you how you think and believe in yourself.
Be responsible
Only allow and tolerate things you can tolerate; don’t force yourself to expand your tolerance just because you feel guilty when someone wants to control you.
You must be able to stand up for yourself. If you can’t or don’t want to own your future by starting to make plans for your future, you will end up living for someone else plan and purpose.
Your time is precious, and you don’t want to spend your youth and adulthood being underestimated and underpaid. If you think you are worth getting paid higher, ask for it, and if you feel that you’re working hard, then make sure you’re paid well.
Each of us has values, “we can be the person we have the potential to be. Whenever we make a good decision and put faith in ourselves, we can be someone we’re destined to be.”
Starting small with a specific area
Sometimes it might be overwhelming to achieve one specific goal, especially when the goal that we want to achieve needs such a huge transformation. Overwhelming ourselves to reach unimaginable goals could make us lose faith and feel mixed emotions. So, when you find one area that seems too big to surpass, try to divide it into manageable chunks.
As the Bible says, “The man who can be trusted in little things can be trusted in great; the man who is dishonest in little things will be dishonest in great.”
One small step is progress; don’t overwhelm and overthink the result. Focus on each journey. When you enjoy the ride and look back, look how far you have come.
Grow a positive envision for your life
Fulfilling our positive vision for ourselves to value ourselves. Because a positive vision leads to positive action and directs us to a positive life.
Small achievements still deserve celebration
After achieving small milestones explained in the previous point, try to celebrate them. It doesn’t have to be a grand party or a big celebration. Enjoy success, and pausing for a while to reward yourself is enough.
If you are too obsessed with perfection, nothing is ever good enough for you, and in the end, you will feel disheartened and might feel lost. Rewarding yourself is one positive act that can energize and replenish yourself, and it can be your source of motivation and confidence to keep striving and moving.
According to the book, there are 3 useful things that we need to put into practice:
- List all your best qualities; it would be better to list 100.
- Keep track of how people think and see you.
- Doing simple acts of goodness to benefit others.
References
Maxwell, J.C. (2012). The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. Center Street.
Ring, M. (2014, July 16). The Law of the Mirror –. The Law of the Mirror -. https://meaningring.com/2014/07/16/the-law-of-the-mirror-by-john-c-maxwell/
A. (2017, April 28). John Maxwell’s Law of the Mirror: Why You Must See Value In Yourself To Add Value To Yourself. Have the Health, Business, and Life You’ve Always Dreamed Of. https://alyciaskousen.com/law-of-the-mirror-self-image/
C. (2021, December 4). The Law of Mirroring: What You See in Others Is Your Own Reflection | ::: Chantal MAILLE ::: Psychanalyste. ::: Chantal MAILLE ::: Psychanalyste. https://chmpsy.com/2021/12/04/the-law-of-mirroring-what-you-see-in-others-is-your-own-reflection/
Karma: Law 5, The Law of Mirrors. (2012, December 3). Random Thoughts N’ Lotsa Coffee. http://www.randomthoughtsandlotsacoffee.com/2/post/2012/12/karma-law-5-the-law-of-mirrors.html
LAW OF MIRRORS | YOUR REALITY IS A REFLECTION | HOW WE JUDGE IS ALWAYS REFLECTED BACK TO US. (2020, May 10). YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPsWkDVUBYE
What is the Law of Mirrors? (2017, March 11). Step to Health. https://steptohealth.com/what-is-the-law-of-mirrors/
The Law of the Mirror: Using Others to Solve Our Problems. (2017, June 19). Exploring Your Mind. https://exploringyourmind.com/law-mirror-using-others-solve-problems/
G. (2021, January 24). What Is The Law Of Mirrors & How You Can Benefit From It. Grethaal | We Are All Made of Magic. https://grethaal.com/law-of-mirrors/
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