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I know it sounds like an excuse, but this content should have been published in June, but there was a big turn in my life, so I’m just able to post it now. This month’s content is about the Law of Reflection. It’s another sequence from 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John Maxwell.
Let’s dive into it.
How many of you believe that “experience is the best teacher?” I think you’ve read many articles stating so. According to this law, experience might not be the best teacher, but evaluating experience does.
People tend to remember their best moments, and we tend to mark them down, whether we write them in our diaries or mark our calendars to remember those memorable experiences. Those life-changing moments are just a small portion or a tiny dot in our messy journey. Those marks equal their transition and transformation.
Our life is moving at a fast speed. When we let things go abruptly without considering them and let things flow just the way it is, we can miss and be unable to notice or capture those important moments.
I believe some of you would say that “You are busy,” or “I have many targets to catch up.” In this context, ‘considering’ doesn’t mean you should delay what you have to finish. It’s about making the time and effort to understand the significance of what we experienced and making the corrections along the way.
According to this law, There are four benefits of pausing, which are:
- Space to pause
- Turning experience into insight
- Pausing with the intention to expand and enriches thinking
- Use your “I”
Space to Pause, Space to catch up with the things outside our routine
When we reevaluate our life, we can transform life markers into life-maker events. Common things to do when we are practicing to reevaluate and readjust our life:
- Having a thinking space
Reflect on what you have done (act, emotions, mind), retrace the process, and try to implement what you have learned. Know what you need to focus on, what makes you distracted, and learn how to respond to something.
Life is full of lessons. We can learn from everything, even we can learn from our failures. When we fail to achieve something, we can pinpoint and note what works and what doesn’t. - Journaling
Changing “to-do list” into “I should do” list
Turning experience into insight.
Patience will let us learn from each opportunity and make us better at responding to and handling our obstacles. Lots of things are beyond our control. How often do good ideas pop into your mind and disappear before you even take the time to go deeper? Good ideas are often forgotten because the wheel of life has no stop button to allow us to explore them deeper. Lots of things need our attention, and we just let those ‘sparks’ aside to keep following our tiring routine.
That’s why it’s important to reflect. Take a moment to explore your daily routine to find what has been missing and what can be improved. Pausing is not the same as procrastinating. Procrastination kills the intention of doing a particular activity, and when you procrastinate, it’s because you have the desire to escape. When one excuse gets taken away, it leads to other reasons. This is called a ‘motivated procrastinator.’
When people encounter an issue, we tend to get caught in the middle of disruptions and let the hecticness take away our sanity to deal with the problem most appropriately. It’s easy to feel lost and couldn’t find a way out. When all the chaos climbs up and tries to choke us, we can take a moment and process things slowly. Try to look deep down to the root of what we can learn throughout the situation and find the solution.
Procrastination is not a sin. It is included in human nature. We tend to put off things we don’t enjoy doing as a boring and unrewarding activity. When the excuse comes up, it signals that we need a break or don’t want to do the task (at least for now).
Common excuses we often use, which is more familiar or even apply to you?
- Lack of necessary skills
As you know, it’s not easy to learn or master something. When we feel forced to do a task, we tend to do the job lightheartedly and try to find the easy way to escape rather than stressing out ourselves. - Afraid of performing badly
Fear of failure keeps haunting us, so we feel scared to deal with the consequences. We tend to hide behind someone’s back because we know ‘that’ person will do a better job. That’s why some of us will try to show that we are not good at that task. - Perfectionist
When you are a perfectionist, many of us develop a structure or make plans. Planning is good, but over-planning something somehow will prevent you from starting everything in a good mood. Why? Because you already consider many outcomes, you have more stress and extra pressure to handle those scenarios perfectly. Those pressures are among the excuses to procrastinate. - No rush, no work
To those of you who are an “adrenaline junkie” who enjoys the surge of motivation, this might apply to you.
When you feel that “those activities” won’t challenge you or give you a sense of reward or accomplishment, you don’t feel like doing it as you postpone it because you only want to do the things you want or like first. You will stumble upon the circle of procrastination. - Just nothing much
Your personal reasons, such as “you don’t like the boss, the manager, the team,” or you think that whoever is giving you that task is so bossy. Which leads you to become haters or want to do the opposite.
Procrastination only lasts for the short term, and you feel stressed when the dateline approaches. Let’s get to know procrastination cycles:
- Emotion-regulation procrastination cycle
It occurs when someone feels afraid and unsure about performing poorly before even beginning. This kind of emotion will turn their expectations into reality. Projecting something to have a bad ending will not bring a good result. - Low confidence and self-efficacy
It appears when someone has no confidence or pessimism in their ability. Rather than let that pessimism makes you procrastinate, it will be better to find some help to have a broader understanding. - Exhaustion procrastination cycle
When someone is exhausted and has too many tasks on their plate, they could delay and procrastinate essential things. If they don’t pay attention or have good time management skills, they can overwork themselves when the deadline is approaching. - Sleep Procrastinator
This type will have no problem delaying their sleeping time to handle the task. Once in a while, we can’t stop this thing from happening, but if you could, it would be better to adjust your time to have a balanced schedule. - Online Procrastination Cycle
It often happens to many of us, and we trade our time from doing something we should be doing into doing something online; stalking someone, scrolling social media, texting with our friends, watching YT, and binge-watching dramas.
For this type of person, online is an escape route, or it could be their ‘break time’ to lessen the stress. But, in the end, it’s stealing your time to keep focus on what you should be doing.
Pausing with Intention to Expand and Enriches Thinking
Pausing is like a sacrament to document what has been learned during one time. It will help you construct a framework to determine the next step after you get the insight. Many famous and wealthy people are using their time to reflect and think. They explore their ideas, put them into perspective, and plan for the future.
As simple as one minute to think might change your life. Henry Nouwen states, “When you can create a lonely space in the middle of your actions and concerns, your failures slowly lose some of their power in you.”
If we look at our calendar, we might think that our calendar is full-packed. Doing a reflection is not done when you have free time. As I mentioned earlier, it’s about making the time for it. We will find invaluable things we usually miss when making time for them. Learn from it each time to prevent the same negative results keep reappearing and rehappening. Think of it like this, when we know that one decision will lead us to regret, do we need to have the motivation to rush? No, you don’t. The answer is that you need to turn your wheel and get back to the right one.
“Start with doubts and end with certainties.” – Sir Francis Bacon
Who says doing a reflection is a tacky or old-fashioned thing? Reflection is about going over our day, experiences, beliefs, and mistakes. Even though many things have been standardized by the expectations of society and social media, we can still be intentional and break free from distractions.
When we are serious about reflecting, we will activate our growth cells. Reflection is a must. You can get to know yourself more by asking simple questions like, your strengths, weaknesses, positive and negative behaviors, your best and worst habits, what you value the most and the least, what your goals are, what you want to improve, and change, what’s holding you back from achieving those goals, do you feel proud with your current situation and life, what do I need to do to make sure that I’d be a better and different person than what I was yesterday.
When you open up yourself, those honest answers will lead you to solid convictions. Solid convictions aren’t meant to be saved inside our heads. We must take action to follow up on those sparks before we lose them.
Use your “I.”
These are the compass when you decide to Pause to reflect.
- An investigation by asking yourself 5W1H
To start, we must be curious to discover their insights and truths. - Incubation – take and process what comes at us. It’s the process to absorb and use our senses to process things throughout.
I’m not trying to brag about the qualities of an introvert. But most introverts tend to process things before they make a decision. You don’t have to be an introvert to adopt introvert habits, I’m not saying that you should become someone else, but I just hope you can learn from them, just like introverts trying hard to adapt to the world mostly made for extroverts. - Illumination – spotlighting our experiences and lives
Realize how we respond to things or might have responded to something. Being aware of what we need to fix, our flaws and mistakes, by being brutally honest with ourselves.
Retrace every moment. If we are lucky, we might find ‘aha’ moments there. Think of it as a reward for putting in the effort to reflect. - Illustration – good ideas need a substance
Make it concrete to figure out the path and method to march forward.
Putting flesh on abstract ideas. Everyone is looking, but only a few are seeing. Everyone is listening, but not everyone can understand.
How do we know if we already activate our growth cells?
Critical thinking leads to deeper understanding and directs you to improve your reasoning skills. When you advance your reasoning skills, you can deal with tough challenges, making it easier to find a better perspective and realize new ways to make a change.
Here are some tips to overcome procrastination:
- Improve your planning
Take time to plan, but do not over-plan. Setting your goals, dividing tasks, and setting a timeline.
Aim for completion rather than aiming for perfection. It doesn’t have to be flawless; we must be consistent and dedicated. - Redesign the environment
Make it easier to start, concentrate, and block distractions.
Don’t wait to finish the game to stop the procrastinating act. The more you engage with the ‘procrastination act,’ the harder it is to stop. - Change your approach
Start small or easy, add time to delay your procrastinating decision, and learn the pattern.
Use the “I should” method instead of the “to-do list.” Do the worse things first to lessen your stress sooner because it is much easier to pull out the motivation when doing the task you love. - Build motivation
Give yourself a pat on the back or a small reward when you complete the task. Ensure you enjoy the reward, motivate and visualize yourself when you finish the job. - Set the right mindset.
Give yourself room for mistakes, befriend your fears and flaws, don’t belittle your potential, and start believing you are capable.
Some facts you need to know:
- The more complex the task, the more likely you will be averse.
- Your exhaustion and hopelessness aren’t the same as reality, but it can create your future.
- Don’t overpromise things easily: I’ll start early, or There’s still enough time, or What if statements.
References
MAXWELL, J. C. (2022). 15 invaluable laws of Growth (10th Anniversary edition): Live them and reach your potential. CENTER STREET.
THE 15 INVALUABLE LAWS OF GROWTH (Chapter 4): Law of Reflection | Keto Mom Book Club. (2022, February 18). KETO MOM. https://www.ketomomsecrets.com/post/the-15-invaluable-laws-of-growth-chapter-4-law-of-reflection-keto-mom-book-club
B. (2012, October 31). The Law Of Reflection – The Power Of The Pause. BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM. https://www.buildingwhatmatters.com/reflection/
Maxwell, J. (2019, December 3). What Are You Reflecting On? – John Maxwell. John Maxwell. https://www.johnmaxwell.com/blog/what-are-you-reflecting-on/
Ph.D., M. G. (2020, January 14). Am I Procrastinating or Just Taking a Break? | Melissa Gratias. Melissa Gratias. https://melissagratias.com/am-i-procrastinating-or-just-taking-a-break/
Summary: The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth By John C. Maxwell. (2021, October 22). Waiyan Can. https://waiyancan.com/summary-the-15-invaluable-laws-of-growth-by-john-c-maxwell/
Overview of Chapter 4 of “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth” by John C. Maxwell. (2016, October 16). Overview of Chapter 4 of “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth” by John C. Maxwell | the Quintessential Leader. https://quintessentialldr.com/2016/10/16/overview-of-chapter-4-of-the-15-invaluable-laws-of-growth-by-john-c-maxwell/
My Favorite Quotes From “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth” By John C. Maxwell. (2020, June 25). davidworcester.net. https://davidworcester.net/2020/06/25/my-favorite-quotes-from-the-15-invaluable-laws-of-growth-by-john-c-maxwell/
Procrastination Cycles: What Causes Them and How to Break Them – Solving Procrastination. (n.d.). Procrastination Cycles: What Causes Them and How to Break Them – Solving Procrastination. https://solvingprocrastination.com/procrastination-cycle/
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